Why I Say #MeToo.

On 6 July 2019, UCSI University hosted a #METOO : A forum on sexual harassment, in support of Sustainable Development Goals 3 and 5 with the main objectives to highlight the taboos and the stigma that exist in the topic of sexual harassment, to enhance participants’ awareness on the topic of sexual harassment by discussing different types of sex violence offences  and crimes, to discuss the effects and impacts of sexual harassment on a person’s well-being and to identify methods on how to handle sexual harassment-related issues legally and professionally.

Sustainable Development Goal 3:
Good Health & Well-Being.

SDG 3, ensures healthy lives and promotes the well-being at all ages through reduction of the global maternal mortality ratio, ends preventable deaths of newborns and children under 5 years of age, ends the epidemics of AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria and neglected tropical diseases and combat hepatitis, water-borne diseases and other communicable diseases, reduce by one third premature mortality from non-communicable diseases through prevention and treatment and promote mental health and well-being as well as strengthen the prevention and treatment of substance abuse, including narcotic drug abuse and harmful use of alcohol and halve the number of global deaths and injuries from road traffic accidents.

Sustainable Development Goal 5:
Gender Equality.

SDG 5, works towards ensuring women and girls get equal access to education, health care, decent work, as well as representation in political and economic decision-making processes will fuel sustainable economies and benefit societies and humanity at large. To achieve this we have to ensure an end to all forms of discrimination against all women and girls everywhere, stop violence against all women and girls in the public and private spheres, including trafficking and sexual and other types of exploitation, stop all harmful practices, such as child, early and forced marriage and female genital mutilation, value unpaid care and domestic work and ensure universal access to sexual and reproductive health and reproductive rights.

#METOO reminded me that we all have voices and can speak up, be it for yourself or the next person. We can inspire others to do the same and support them throughout.

I say #METOO for all the men and women who have faced verbal or sexual harassment. I say #METOO if you are unable to find your voice, if it is buried too deep or you have forgotten how it sounds. I urge you to find strength and courage to let it out. No one deserves such treatment and #TIMESUP , it is time to come out the shadows bestowed upon us and let our voices be heard.

I say #METOO for all women who are out there trying to gain a living. For the women who get harassed at work every day by their bosses, coworkers or customers. For the women who were forcefully cornered by sexual commits and not able to deflect them. For the women afraid to speak out at the risk of losing their jobs or promotions they worked hard to get.

I say #METOO for all the women whose consent lost value, for the women who did not make it home, for the women who did not ask to be touched, for the women who did not ask to be cat-called as they walked past a street. For the women who are now afraid to wear their little black dresses, to wear high heels  because they risk being slut shamed and being told she was asking for it. For the women whose outfits do not mean yes.

I say #METOO for all the women who just wanted to have a good time, for the women who did not ask to be taken advantage of, the women who feel like it is their fault for getting too drunk, for the women who are afraid to express themselves because they have reputation that they are easy because of someone else’s actions.

I say #METOO for the women who have been told to shut up and sweep it under the rug. For the women told that it was not big of a deal. For all the women who have lost their voices along the way because they fear no one will believe them. For all the women who keep to themselves and try to fake it.

I say #METOO to as a reminder that you are strong and beautiful and no matter the case. It will never define you.

Atychiphobia▪︎Kakorrhaphiophobia

Atychiphobia  : Fear of failure.

Kakorrhaphiophobia      : Fear of failure and defeat.

I learnt two new words today while preparing this blog. (Don’t ask me to pronounce them.) But isn’t this one of the reasons most of us procrastinate in with our tasks? We are afraid to fail? In university we are given a number of assignments due at a given time, but also don’t have an idea whether we have it in us to complete them. What if we do not understand the question clearly? That one moment we give ourselves the benefit of doubt, procrastination takes full control.

Procrastination.

The fear of failure, the fear of not being/doing well enough. Each time we are handed an assignment, the thought of having everything we write be judged and every mark we lose affecting our final grade affects the success rate be it in schools or at work which affects usually has an effect on how great of a career you will have. It’s some form of expression of despair, knowing that your life backs on words written on a paper.

The fear of passing time, running out of time. Too fast for our taste. For a split second we wish we could just yell ‘STOP!!!’ We want to suspend time for a bit. We want to make every second of our lives count. But time is merciless. We have to jump from one assignment to the next, work to more work.

It definitely seems like a pleading cry. Can you relate?

Despite feeling like all my efforts are not good enough, I manage to submit all my tasks before the stipulated deadline. I know it’s paralyzing. All I wanted to do most of the times was just crawl back into bed and sleep the whole day. But fact is, it gets more difficult as we become more anxious. Leaving everything to last minute get quite stressful for us to cope.

Not every one of us is haunted by fear of failure, but if you do, it’s most probably because you were brought up that way. In most homes, children are taught to fear failure, although we learn a lot from our mistakes.

If every time you get an assignment you are afraid of not doing well enough, this feeling does not automatically go away. You cannot get rid of anxiety, but you can most definitely control it. You can choose to either cope with it or let yourself be consumed by it.

There is no single way to go by it, no secret formula. No one size fits all. It is all about training yourself to take the situations as a new challenge instead of a threat. Changing my attitude about failure and knowing that I do not have to score the highest to get the best learning experience but give it my best shot may take some time. And a lot of personal and mental health.

This is battle only you can overcome…

If you find yourself in this same position. This is how I self-motivate myself to take the fear of failure into a challenge and out of the way of my studies.

You are afraid of not being good enough, right? Well, this basically shows you are eager to succeed. So, regardless of the paralyzing anxiety, what does a person do to succeed?

Yes, exactly that. They work. They do the work.

I definitely would not want to get a ZERO on any assignment. No! Submitting anything at all, even if it’s not your best work, will definitely not score you a zero.

We have to bite the bullet. The most painful and important step is to start. So, once you get something on paper, you will be able to get through it.

You may feel that you have written rubbish, but that does not really matter right now. Do not ponder yourself over the first sentence. Just lay everything you know out. Complete everything. Once you are done, you may go back and review your paper.

It hurts, it made me cringe. But that is all fine. What matters is, you have done it. Ready for the second draft?

Or for the next assignment?

Do you have a mantra you tell yourself get through this paralyzing situation? Share it in the comments below!